Ray

Ray, age 6
St. Louis, Missouri (1980)

By the time of this photo, I already knew I was not the same as the other boys.
As you can see, I have on my Superman suspenders. Though I didn't really understand it then, I was attracted to Superman. I also wanted to be around construction workers, because I found them attractive, too.

Other kids used to call me "Gay Ray." I was not particularly feminine as a child, but the other kids still knew there was something very different about me. This was because of the things I would say, and not being shy about the fact that I enjoyed lots of things typically reserved for girls.

My twin sister used to love to dress me up in her clothes, and we'd run around the neighborhood together. She would introduce me as her "cousin Becky."

While my mother was always very encouraging of me expressing myself, my father was not pleased.

I had a rough childhood. I cried almost every day and was so confused about what was going on with me. This only contributed to the way that I was treated by the other kids and some family members. I used to pray every night, hoping that God would "fix" me. But every morning I woke up the same.

It wasn't until I got into high school that I started making friends with the other outcast kids and punkers. Though life got harder for me in many ways, it always got easier for me to accept myself and to become comfortable with who I am.

Today, I'm still not like the other boys. I'm an artist and musician.
And maybe one day I'll open a little place that I can proudly call "Gay Ray's"
as an homage to my troubled path.
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Jose

Jose, age 3
Oaxaca, Mexico (1973)

I have very nice memories from this period in my life.
I was living with my grandparents, and they spoiled me rotten.

And there was a neighbor boy my age, who would pose with me in the same positions as in my uncle's adult magazines. We had no idea what we were doing, but all I know is that I wanted to!

I'm now in a 10-year relationship with three kitties, and I work as a nurse.

All LGBTQ kids should have happy memories. If not, make up for it later!

P.S. - I remember eating the head off that sugar doll as soon as we got home :)
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Chris

Chris, age 8
Grayling, Michigan (1998)

This picture really demonstrates what kind of kid I was - lively, goofy, and obviously gay.

I don't really crossdress at all now, but I remember when my family did this as a joke, I felt some part of it seemed right.

It was around this age that I first realized I was different. I was, at the very least, aware that I also liked guys.

Especially Tony, the cute boy in my 3rd grade music class.

However, I didn't come out until I moved out of my home and started college, a process which was well received by all.

Although, it took my parents a bit of time to come around.

Today, I live in Ann Arbor, MI with my wonderful partner of nearly two years, and study Art History at E. Michigan University.

For the kids out there reading this, I say:
Be yourselves, and when you are ready, make the leap.
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Bobby & Leticia

Bobby & Leticia (cousins), age 3
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma (1993)

Bobby:
Growing up in a family that was all women, I quickly latched on to the one that was closest to me in age. I think I first realized I was gay around 3 or 4, but I didn't know it was called being gay. I always thought I was, then the dreams started. In my head I remember thinking, "Yep I'm gay." All I knew is that guys were what I liked. Girls were just my friends.

Leticia and I being born in the same family is no accident. I believe God knew that we would need each other. She was the first person I told I was gay, and the first to understand my fear. She has helped me through life and all its struggles.
When I told my mom I was gay this year, I was scared. But she still loves me.

Leticia:
I first realized I was different when I was 6, and a game of pretend house that lead to me kissing a girl. I think I knew something was going on with me, considering I was playing the husband. I have always just been one of the guys.

I told my mother when I was 14 and my dad when I was 20. It's been a long journey, but I feel that I'm lucky because I have had my cousin Bobby this whole time. We are now 22 and 21, and we talk every day with no boundaries.

I lucked out being raised with him, and I know that he feels the same for me.
My family loves me no matter what. I am accepted and that's all I ask for.

Both:
We are lucky to have each other, and a family that never stopped loving us.
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Noah

Noah, age 4
Portland, Maine (1992)

Even though I didn't realize it until I was in my first year of college, my parents knew I was gay when I was 3-years old.

On Christmas Day of 1991, my parents got my sister a dress and got me a tuxedo.

I burst out crying when both gifts were opened, because I wanted a dress like my sister's.

They returned the tux and bought me a dress instead. And I wore that thing, and my pink jelly sandals, until they both were worn out.

As you can see, I was still wearing them both during summer 1992, as seen in my photo.

So after all the Barbie dolls, putting on my sister's clothing, and dressing up as a bride in a wedding, I finally realized I was gay 15 years later.
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Kurt & Matt

Kurt & Matt, age 5
Springfield, Oregon (1990)

I'm here on the left with my twin brother, Matt. I guess my experience has been different from most others, in that I didn't really realize that I was gay until probably middle school. Even then, I wasn't ready to admit it to myself or anyone else until I was a senior in high school.

When I stumbled upon this picture at my dad's house, my first thought was,
"How did you all NOT know we were gay?" Especially when we spent so much time playing Cinderella - and need I even mention my purple My Little Pony, which was my most prized and beloved gift on Christmas day in 1987?

My brother and I have been really lucky to have a supportive family and friends. And thankfully, we haven't experienced any of the nightmare scenarios you too often hear about, when people begin the process of coming out.

Maybe if we'd stayed in the Mormon church, things would be different. But we stopped attending when around 8-years old, and we haven't looked back.

Growing up, I never thought that if I came out as gay, that my mom would soon be saying to me, "You should go talk to that cute gay guy at Starbucks."

But she did. And kids, it really does get better - so hang in there!
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Nic

Nic, age 6
Quincy, CA (1965)

I'm the cutie in the blue and white striped shirt and belt. My grandmother made that for me. I guess she's the one who got me started with accessorizing. She also made clothes for my Troll dolls, and was very protective of me.

I grew up in a redneck town where boys were taught to hunt and fish and all that stuff. My friends were always girls. I recall playing house with one of my friends and I told her I wanted to be the Mommy, and she sternly told me "No!" It turns out, she's now a lesbian.

Much of my internalized guilt and fear of exposure made me a very bitter and angry kid. I also suspect it played a huge part in me having cancer at age 22.

I remember my grandmother telling my mom that she saw two men walking down the street in San Francisco, acting like they were a married couple. Even at age 6, something clicked in my head and I blurted out to her, 'I want to marry a man when I grow up!'

Of course she was horrified and aghast, and said, "But you can't." That moment I revealed myself to her was the first time I was told that being gay was a bad thing.

But today, I know being gay is a very good thing.
And indeed, I married my husband on 6/18/2008.
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Thomas

Thomas, age 2
Toledo, Ohio (1992)

I should ask Tyra Banks for my check, as I was clearly smiling with my eyes first! I was the boy that wanted to be the mom when playing house. I was the boy in your daughter's room playing with her Barbies, who turned your bed comforter into a Haute couture gown, and who performed "Proud Mary" for a talent show.

I argued why I wasn't supposed to do these things, because I was born this way.

Growing up, I got a lot of complaints about my "girly interest" from family and friends.

I just didn't care for sports or G.I. Joe dolls. Well, if G.I. Joe was cute, then I cared.

I didn't believe I was gay until the day I hugged one of my kindergarten classmates naked, while we were changing at the pool. I remember my first kiss was with a boy while playing with Hot Wheels.

But as I got older, I started to experience plenty of bullying. It wasn't any better going to an all-boy high school. I was teased, beaten up, pranked, and even had Facebook hate pages in my honor.

It all took its toll on me.
The self-hate I had for my sexuality manifested through over-eating.

At a heavy 286lbs, I started to see that I couldn't please anyone but myself.
But now at 21, I've lost over 130lbs. And I am back to being that same little boy who doesn't care about the person everyone else wants me to be.

To the many gays out there reading this who are struggling with acceptance, trust - it always gets better. People will respect you for who you are no matter what. But, you've got to fight for yourself.

Thomas' first, famous-person same sex crush:
Lil Bow Wow
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JC

JC, age 17
Sierra Nevada, California (1979)

"I Was a Teenage Drag King"

Once, I wanted to "be a boy," but had mostly made peace with my female gender. But puberty was AGONY! When I discovered my dad's Army uniforms in storage, I was fascinated by men's formal clothing. While children's clothing had become more unisex, I was interested (as kids are) in the gendered male clothing of adults.

At a costume event, how I could not dandy up as a turn-of-the-Century drag king when I looked so good at it!

I was particularly proud of how I tucked my long hair up in the hat, for a nice profile. Alhough the handlebar mustache may be a bit over-the-top.

My interest only grew, as I was supposed to be differentiating into a "woman." Back then, I kept getting crushes on dead movie idols, like Tyrone Power. My delayed libido couldn't comprehend that I didn't want to do them, I wanted to be them.



At this age, I worked as a summer camp counselor. I'd been bullied in camp before: some girls read me, calling me "lezzie" and "lesbo" there. As a counselor,
I helped (as best I could) a boy struggling with his own orientation, though I was still in deep denial about my own! I'm "gynesexual" - attracted to women, whether I'm considered a lesbian female, or a straight dude.

What's most important about this photo, is how genuinely happy I am here. I look like me. That didn't happen again for too many years. Now, I'm content with my genderqueer self. I don't have to be either/or - I can be BOTH! And that's great!

So for the kids today, I say don't be forced into those "M or F, Pick One" boxes.
You're fine the way you are. Make the question and the forms change!
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Robeij

Robeij, age 4 months
Louisville, Kentucky (1987)

When I look at this picture, it brings tears to my eyes. The huge smile on my face, the dimples, and the innocence that was not yet ready for the MANY years of torment and suicide attempts that would occur later on in my life.

As a young boy, I did everything a boy "should" do. I played sports, I camped, I hiked, and I got dirty. Growing up was challenging, as I felt that I wasn't like the rest of the boys.

I was more emotionally driven, and after years of complaining about playing sports, my dad allowed me to pursue some band things and other musical endeavors.

Unfortunately, by the 8th grade,
I hated being alive.

And all the terrible things you hear about now? I experienced them.

I was taunted in the school hallways in between classes, and a bully actually tried to shove me in my 4 ft by 2 ft locker. My hair was pulled, my shins were kicked, and these bullies would even spit in my face.

I was called a f*ggot, a queer, a fudge packer and an anal jockey. At that time,
I felt as though these horrible boys took away my innocence. I tried to look to God for answers or some kind of help. But blinded by all the hate that surrounded me, I didn't see any kind of improvement. At 13, I attempted to kill myself, to get rid of what I felt like was a waste of God-given flesh. What was I even worth?

After a grueling year of the torment and the failed suicide, I turned against everybody. I was an angry boy with a shattered heart and no real outlook on life.

Years afterwards, I changed as a person. I found refuge in music and made tons of friends. But by college, I slipped down the steep slopes of depression and anxiety. I still was not happy with who I was, thinking 'If I'm a f*ggot, I'll burn in the fiery pits of hell. God won't love me and neither will my family.'

Can you believe that? I did.

My second suicide attempt took place in my dorm room at college. Fortunately, it was another failed attempt. God had a plan for me. I sought help and moved back home to FIND MYSELF. And there, I found that boy in my baby picture. I smiled again, my dimples showed, and my outlook on life had gotten better. I admitted that I was gay and proud, despite some insecurities I had at the time.

I am now a recent college graduate. I overcame battles of depression and anxiety. I have a wonderful family who loves me for me, and appreciates my journey in finding myself. I have the most amazing set of friends who have been there for all my happy, sad, and angry moments.

But to this day, I still get harassed and discriminated against. And it still bugs me. However, I look at them and smile - because I am who I am, and I will NOT change for anybody. I'm an advocate to those who feel they don't have a voice.

I am there for those who need the help and guidance to see that being LGBTQ isn't a bad thing. It's a rebirth when you finally realize that this is the real you.

The old me died and became ash; the new me was reborn from those ashes and is now a successful young gay male in today's society. I recently got a tattoo of the word EQUALITY on my arm, because I believe that equality should be given to all persons - no matter what race, age, gender, sexuality, etc.

Lastly, I must mention my mother. She is my heart. Because of her, I'm the person I am today. She was the first person I told and she will always love me no matter what choices I make in my life. She doesn't see sin nor distaste in my community. She sees only love, integrity, and respect.

To all those who feel like they have no voice - you do! There are so many people around that will love you for you. If you are bullied in school, contact the highest person you can. If nothing is done, go to someone higher than them. If you have to go all the way to the top, then do so. Make a difference in your community

Because those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter.
We all matter and we all will make a difference in the world.
Mother Monster said it best, "... 'Cause baby, you were BORN this way."

Remember that. I LOVE YOU.
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Click here - "Born This Way: Real Stories of Growing Up Gay" book
Click here - "My First Gay Crush Blog"
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