Dallas

Dallas, age 2

N. Vancouver, BC, Canada (1975)

Here I am age 2, in the yellow rusted wagon in my Grandma's three-level backyard. The view was amazing, and looked out unto the ocean and the mountains. I remember hanging out in the backyard with my hand-me-down denim, bell-bottomed overalls, and Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders t-shirt (thanks Dad), pretending that this backyard was my neighborhood. Everyone was nice, and I had my own bike, so I was completely independent.

When we played house, I never had a "husband" like the rest of my neighbors, and I would live alone or with my best friend. We didn't have any kids, but we had the nicest house in the town. Looking back, I realize that this may have been different than most little girls under the age of 10.

I had dolls, but they usually ended up with hair cut into a short, spiky hairdo, and who would often 'kiss' other dolls.

My Barbies took lots of camping trips with their friends in the Barbie Camper, and there was never a Ken doll involved. I realized then that Barbies were supposed to have Kens, but I didn't want one.

I never felt different, though. My parents never, ever, showed disapproval of me. My friends went along with my Barbie antics, no questions asked. I wonder if they realize now that I'm out, that these things were in fact, different?

Back then, I adored Lauren Tewes (Julie on "The Love Boat") and something about her eyes and her smile captivated me. I also loved Joan Jett. Her power as a musician and her raw sex appeal awakened something in me that made me feel strong. I knew I was unique, but it fueled me to remain so, and I did.

My message for gay kids today is:
Don't ever give up your uniqueness.
Embrace what you have. Monotony is boring!

Dallas' first, famous-person same sex crush:

Lauren Tewes ("The Love Boat")
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Ben

Ben, age 6

Dallas, Texas (1984)

This picture still cracks me up! I mean, look at me: the posing, the tutu, the Bronco's t-shirt (???), the bow in my hair, mom's heels, and a cocked leg!

I wonder what my sister, Erin (background) thought when she saw me? I also wonder who took this picture? My Mom or Dad?!

My parents said they always knew - hmm, I wonder how! While I don't recall this particular dress-up, what stayed with me was what my Mom lived by and instilled in us:

She'd say, 'Let's put on a show!'

My mom (RIP) was a showy woman, and she liked prizes.

Today I'm a showy man, and I like prizes too. Coincidence?

And in one way or another, we have been playing dress up ever since. Luckily for me, my parents always accepted us just the way we are. They encouraged me to be and do whatever I wanted. Thankfully, I never wanted to be a ballet dancer or a football player, because I still can't dance or catch a ball.

I was probably about 10 when my attraction to men started to kick in. I knew I couldn't love Wonder Woman forever, so I switched gears to "Growing Pains."

I crushed on Jeremy Miller (Ben Seaver) for when I wanted a cute friend to kiss, and Allen Thicke (the dad) for that sexy father figure role. Also, I loved Ricky Schroeder on "Silver Spoons." Sooo cute! And last, Jerry Sharell, as Mickey the bass player on Kids Incorporated!

Of course I also loved "My Little Pony," brushing out my sister's Barbies hair, and flipping through the International Male Catalog. What can ya do?

Who knew that I'd grow up wanting to be an ice skater, then a musical theater performer (who acts and sings, not dances), and who now manages a hair salon in Boston - that my husband owns?! That is pretty cool.

And anything is possible for anyone - even for a little gay boy from Texas.

Ben's first, famous-person same sex crush:

Jeremy Miller (Ben Seaver on "Growing Pains")

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